Toasted Coconut & Goji Chocolate & a Rant about Calories

17 05 2013

This is totally faux chocolate, don’t hate me for tricking you. It tastes like angels dancing on your tongue so just go and make it.

Calories schmalories…. Ok, Strap yourself in, this is going to get messy. WARNING! Rant about to begin! Lately there has been a stupid number of people talk to me about calories. How many calories are in that dish, how many calories can I eat for lunch, can I have 5 almonds or 6? IT DOES NOT MATTER!!! Calorie counting = diets and I do not believe in diets! Just like I don’t believe in vampires (sorry Twi-hards but I don’t) diets are equally as ridiculous! They do NOT work. Maybe for a month, or an 8-week challenge or even a year, but long term they all fail because as soon as you stop dieting, you put that weight back on, plus some. You cannot spend your life on an 8-week challenge.

You need to adopt clean, nutritious eating habits permanently. For life. Forever. That is not to say you cannot go out to dinner, you can’t have the occasional dessert, it means that you educate yourself about what is actually in the food you are eating, so, more importantly than “how many calories does it have?” you are asking “what can this food do for me?”, “what health benefits will I get from eating this deep fried Mars bar?”- the answer to that last question my friends is NONE, you will get a sugar high, then a sugar low. The amount of fat & sugar together is taking the whole lot straight to your ar$e, you might clog a few arteries along the way and possibly end up constipated from the amount of cr@p now clogging your guts. Still want it?

If you are eating clean, nutritious, whole foods that are not packed full of preservatives and artificial everything, you will not overeat. You will be full because good food fills you up, unlike sugar which enables you to smash that entire packet of lollies and be hungry again 15mins later.

Fats are NOT the devil provided they are good fats (nuts, seeds, coconut oil, olive oil), your body needs fat! Your weight loss and ultimately health will suffer if you are NOT giving your body enough fat. Good dietary fat is used to build the outer lipid layer of every cell in the body, and if that layer is impaired, your ability to process carbohydrates will be impaired, and you’ll get fatter. Stay away from all TRANS fats- that $hit will kill you.

Take a step away from the calorie panel and before you shove anything suspect down your pie hole, ask yourself “what can this food do for me?”, google it, ask us, download an app, I don’t care. If you cannot find an honestly positive health benefit from it, don’t eat it! ‘High in fibre’ or ‘low in fat’ is NOT good enough, that does not make it healthy. Rant over. Now go make this delicious treat.

500g dried coconut, lightly toasted
1/2 cup goji berries (cranberries or another dried fruit would be fine too)
1/4 cup raw cacao nibs (or dark choc chips)
1/2 cup mixed seeds/nuts (whatever you like)
1/2 tsp vanilla powder or extract

Pop the toasted coconut into your food processor & blend until it turns into a smooth liquidy consistency. It only took a couple of minutes but it might take about 10 depending on how strong your food processor is. Keep scraping down the sides & be patient, it’s worth it! Once you have the buttery liquid, add all the remaining ingredients and stir though gently to combine. Spoon into moulds or just pour into a baking paper lined tray. Pop it in the fridge to set.

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Categories : Cake & Biscuits, Dessert

Osso Bucco with Gremolata

17 05 2013

Osso Bucco sounds all posh & fancy schmancy but it just means ‘bone hole’ because of the hole you can see in the middle where the bone has been cut and it is actually a pretty cheap cut of meat. It comes from the shin or shank of veal or beef. This is my first experience with it so I have no idea how else you would cook it but I’m thinking slow cooking might be the only option if you don’t want it to taste like old shoes. If you don’t have a slow cooker, they are brilliant & cheap as chips. It will change your life so just go & get one. Seriously, it means you can just leave your dinner cooking all day at home without worrying about burning the place down….. Actually that could probably still happen but it is UNLIKELY people, unlikely.

This dish is perfect for those nights that are cooling down, it is warming & wholesome without being stodgy. It is low in carbohydrates, a great source of protein & full of even more amazing digestive health benefits if you make it with delicious bone broth.

Osso Bucco-
4 pieces of Osso Bucco
Punch salt & pepper
1 tbs garlic powder
1 tbs ground ginger
3 cups stock (I used Bone Broth)
1 cup white wine
1 tin chopped tomatoes
Coconut oil for cooking

Gremolata-
1/2 cup fresh mint
1 bunch (about a cup of chopped) parsley
6-10 anchovies (optional- you can just use a pinch of salt instead)
1 tbs olive oil
1/4 cup lemon juice
Pinch pepper

For the gremolata- add all ingredients to a little food processor bowl if you have one or a mortar & pestle and blend to a paste consistency. You can add a dash of water if it is too dry.

For the osso bucco- In a bowl add the garlic, ginger, salt & pepper & roll each Osso Bucco in this mix to coat like flour. Heat the coconut oil in your pan (or crockpot if you are using that to cook in) and brown the Osso Bucco on both sides then remove from pan. Add any remaining garlic & ginger from the ‘flouring’ to the pan and the white wine and increase the heat until the wine has reduced by half. Add the tomatoes & stock & bring to the boil. You can now add all this with your Osso Bucco to your slow cooker (or just add your Osso Bucco back into your crockpot), pop it on low & forget about it for at least 5 hrs (prob about 3 hrs in the oven in a crockpot), I left mine for about 8hrs while I was working. Once you are ready to eat you can remove the meat and set aside, pop all the sauces back in the pan & simmer to reduce & thicken the sauce if you like or just use it as it is.

Pile a nice bed of cauliflower mash on your plate, top with the Osso Bucco & some sauce & a nice dollop of gremolata.

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Categories : Dinner, Lunch

Red Velvet Oatmeal

11 05 2013

This has no oats in it, maybe I should have called it Noatmeal…. You can probably use oats if you want. I don’t, I want vegetables for breakfast. Moving on. So, how do you get the red velvet color without nasty food coloring? Beetroot of course! What else!? This tastes like chocolate pudding, it’s amazing.

Few hot tips for new players…
1. Beetroot stains like a ba$tard so do NOT wear white whilst preparing this.
2. No matter how you try, it will end up all over every surface in your kitchen & look like a massacre has occurred.
3. Your hands probably won’t be normal-colored for days after so just factor that in if you have a hand-modeling job coming up or some such occasion. Obviously, not my problem- I have massive man-sized hands that no one should want to photograph.

Cauliflower is from the same family as broccoli and cabbage, it contains many essential B-complex vitamins and loads of vitamin C. Cauliflower contains several anti cancer phyto-chemicals which have proven benefits against prostate, breast, cervical, colon, ovarian cancers. Beetroot contains loads of folic acid which is essential for normal tissue growth, it contains mineral silica which helps the body absorb calcium & decrease the risk of osteoporosis. It is also a great source of antioxidants & provides potassium, magnesium and iron as well as vitamins A, B6 and C.

1/2 cup grated beetroot
1 cup ‘riced’ cauliflower (chop raw cauliflower into chunks, pop it in the food processor and pulse a few times until it has the consistency of rice)
1 cup coconut milk (or milk of your choice)
1 tbs ground flaxseeds
1 heaped tbs raw cacao
OPTIONAL 1 heaped tbs protein powder (flavorless, vanilla or chocolate)
Stevia, maple syrup or coconut nectar to taste

In a small saucepan add beetroot, cauliflower & milk & bring to the boil, reduce heat & simmer for a few minutes. Add all remaining ingredients & stir well to thicken. Spoon into a bowl, top with berries, cacao nibs or a drizzle of coconut cream & dig in.

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Categories : Breakfast

Carrot Cake Porridge

9 05 2013

This is similar to my Oat-Free Oatmeal recipe. This is part of the no-eggs series of recipes, you can read more about my NO EGGS HERE. Yeah, it has zucchini in it but don’t have a meltdown, you can’t even taste it, it just adds goodness.

Zucchini is low calorie and a great source of fibre. It is rich in vitamin A, flavonoid and poly-phenolic antioxidants such as carotenes, lutein and zeaxanthin. These compounds help scavenge harmful oxygen-derived free radicals and reactive oxygen species from the body that play a role in aging and various disease process. Carrots are full of beta-carotene which helps to reduce the risk of cancer, low in carbohydrates and full of vitamins C, K and B6. Health-promoting minerals found in carrots include potassium, calcium and manganese.

1/2 cup grated zucchini
1/2 cup grated carrot
1 heaped tbs protein powder (vanilla or flavorless)
1/2 tsp cinnamon
Pinch cloves
Pinch nutmeg
1/2 tsp ground ginger
1 cup coconut milk (or milk of your choice)
1/2 cup chopped nuts & seeds (whatever you like)
1 heaped tbs ground flax or chia
Dash stevia (1 tbs honey or maple syrup as an alternative)
Coconut to serve (optional)

Add the zucchini, carrot, spices & milk to a small saucepan & bring to the boil, reduce to simmer & add all remaining ingredients. Cook for a few more minutes until all heated through and it has started to thicken. Pour into a bowl & eat cold or warm. Top with some coconut yoghurt, strawberries, poached pears or grilled figs would be delicious too!

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Categories : Breakfast

Carrot Cake Breakfast Bars

9 05 2013

I’m not sure if you are up to date with my latest body experiment but I had my food allergies tested to try & get to the source of my dodgy gut. Result are in and it’s a pretty dire outcome, though it could be worse…. I could be allergic to bacon or coconut. I will share the whole saga in another post but dairy in all forms is a massive one (adios whey protein), almonds (that’s pretty annoying), mushrooms & bananas & pineapple (not ideal but I will cope), sugar cane (who cares), wheat/gluten (no surprise & don’t care). There are more, but they are the main ones. Then comes eggs. My biggest SADNESS is EGGS!!! I freaking love eggs, I eat them all the time, every day for breakfast at least (perhaps my problem). BUT, it is ok because, if it is going to make me feel better then I am all over it. No eggs for at least 4 mths then we will reintroduce & see how we go. Until then I need some new breakfast ideas.

These protein bars are low carbohydrate, I have snuck some veggies in there to keep me from getting scurvy, high in protein & have some healthy fats as well. I freeze mine as individual bars for the days when I need brekkie or a snack in a hurry. See eggs, I don’t need you.

1 cup grated carrot
1 cup grated zucchini
1 tsp fresh ginger, grated (you could use a tsp or ground ginger instead)
2 cups mixed nuts/seeds (choose whatever you like)
1/2 cup protein powder (vanilla or flavorless)
4 tbs ground flax or chia mixed with 1/4 cup water (or 2 eggs)
1/2 cup coconut oil, melted
1/2 cup nut butter, coconut butter or seed butter of your choice
1 tsp cinnamon
1/2 tsp cloves
1/2 tsp nutmeg
Pinch salt
1/2 cup water
1/2 cup coconut (optional)
1/2 tsp stevia powder (or 1/4 cup honey or maple syrup)

Preheat oven to 170C. In a bowl (or I used a food processor) mix zucchini, carrot, coconut oil, water, nut butter, ginger & flax, chia mix or eggs and combine well. Add the spices & protein powder & stevia (or honey) and mix again. Add all remaining ingredients and blend to just combine. Line a cake tin or loaf pan with baking paper and pour the mixture in & flatten out. Bake for about 20-30 mins until cooked, sprinkle with a bit more cinnamon, allow to cool before slicing into bars. These can be stored in the fridge or freezer.

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Categories : Breakfast, Cake & Biscuits, Snack

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