Toasted Coconut & Goji Chocolate & a Rant about Calories

This is totally faux chocolate, don’t hate me for tricking you. It tastes like angels dancing on your tongue so just go and make it.

Calories schmalories…. Ok, Strap yourself in, this is going to get messy. WARNING! Rant about to begin! Lately there has been a stupid number of people talk to me about calories. How many calories are in that dish, how many calories can I eat for lunch, can I have 5 almonds or 6? IT DOES NOT MATTER!!! Calorie counting = diets and I do not believe in diets! Just like I don’t believe in vampires (sorry Twi-hards but I don’t) diets are equally as ridiculous! They do NOT work. Maybe for a month, or an 8-week challenge or even a year, but long term they all fail because as soon as you stop dieting, you put that weight back on, plus some. You cannot spend your life on an 8-week challenge.

You need to adopt clean, nutritious eating habits permanently. For life. Forever. That is not to say you cannot go out to dinner, you can’t have the occasional dessert, it means that you educate yourself about what is actually in the food you are eating, so, more importantly than “how many calories does it have?” you are asking “what can this food do for me?”, “what health benefits will I get from eating this deep fried Mars bar?”- the answer to that last question my friends is NONE, you will get a sugar high, then a sugar low. The amount of fat & sugar together is taking the whole lot straight to your ar$e, you might clog a few arteries along the way and possibly end up constipated from the amount of cr@p now clogging your guts. Still want it?

If you are eating clean, nutritious, whole foods that are not packed full of preservatives and artificial everything, you will not overeat. You will be full because good food fills you up, unlike sugar which enables you to smash that entire packet of lollies and be hungry again 15mins later.

Fats are NOT the devil provided they are good fats (nuts, seeds, coconut oil, olive oil), your body needs fat! Your weight loss and ultimately health will suffer if you are NOT giving your body enough fat. Good dietary fat is used to build the outer lipid layer of every cell in the body, and if that layer is impaired, your ability to process carbohydrates will be impaired, and you’ll get fatter. Stay away from all TRANS fats- that $hit will kill you.

Take a step away from the calorie panel and before you shove anything suspect down your pie hole, ask yourself “what can this food do for me?”, google it, ask us, download an app, I don’t care. If you cannot find an honestly positive health benefit from it, don’t eat it! ‘High in fibre’ or ‘low in fat’ is NOT good enough, that does not make it healthy. Rant over. Now go make this delicious treat.

500g dried coconut, lightly toasted
1/2 cup goji berries (cranberries or another dried fruit would be fine too)
1/4 cup raw cacao nibs (or dark choc chips)
1/2 cup mixed seeds/nuts (whatever you like)
1/2 tsp vanilla powder or extract

Pop the toasted coconut into your food processor & blend until it turns into a smooth liquidy consistency. It only took a couple of minutes but it might take about 10 depending on how strong your food processor is. Keep scraping down the sides & be patient, it’s worth it! Once you have the buttery liquid, add all the remaining ingredients and stir though gently to combine. Spoon into moulds or just pour into a baking paper lined tray. Pop it in the fridge to set.